This one’s for Brad.

This is undoubtedly the most exciting time of my life.  As I’m watching the sun rise over the ocean, I’m reflecting on everything it took to get here.  Aside from all of the hard work and planning, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions: happiness, anxiety, excitement, fear, self doubt.  I’m fortunate to have a great network of friends who have been so supportive of me and this crazy adventure, but the one person I wanted to share it with most is nowhere to be found.

He was my first “real” friend at Ford.  We met while working on an assignment together.  Our connection was instant, and our bond grew quickly.  It wasn’t long before we were talking and texting all day and getting happy hour drinks together after work.  We shared everything, and I trusted him unconditionally.  It was the kind of friendship where when you see each other, you can’t help but smile, like you both know something the rest of the world hasn’t figured out yet.  I had met my new best friend, or so I thought.

It all happened so quickly that I’m still trying to comprehend it.  One seemingly meaningless event turned into a whirlwind of anger, control, manipulation, and emotional abuse.  He twisted every word to make it me against him, when I was only ever on his side.  He made me feel worthless as a person, and unworthy of love and affection.  When he wasn’t giving me the silent treatment, he was berating me for everything I’ve ever said and done to “wrong” him.  How could someone I loved, respected, trusted, and cared for so much turn on me so viciously?  I spent so much time trying to build him up that I lost sight of how badly he was breaking me down.

I’ve never been so hurt by someone who was supposed to be one of my closest friends.  I’m still reeling from the betrayal and mourning the loss of a friendship that never really existed,

But now I sleep like a baby,
And all my dreams come true
‘Cause the rest of my life has nothing to do with you